The Inner Road
If our eyes and ears and minds are open, there are constantly signs telling us whether we are headed in the right direction or not. Some are obvious, like getting into college, or receiving a promotion at work. Others are more subtle, like that pain in the pit of your stomach, or that gnawing sense of dissatisfaction.
The juxtaposition of two road signs near the University of Florida campus in Gainesville, Florida where I now reside perfectly captures our modern-day dilemma. We can find ourselves at a crossroads and not know which way to turn. Although there may be a sign indicating an alternative to the road we are on, there are often conflicting messages from our spouse, parents, or society in general, saying that is not permitted. We hear about “the road less traveled,” while simultaneously being told not to go there.
The vast majority of messages on both social media and mainstream media, following the tone set by Wall Street and Madison Avenue, tell us that our self-worth depends on our net worth; that we must be driven to succeed. But relentlessly pursuing the “road to success” often leaves us feeling unfulfilled, burned out, and alienated from those around us. In our focus on bank accounts, bottom lines, and the external measures of wealth, we ignore our inner lives and end up emotionally bankrupt. As the classic Eagles song tells us, “Life in the fast lane surely makes you lose your mind.”
I remember attending a personal growth workshop many years ago in the mountains of Western North Carolina where I was living at the time. A gentleman from Florida arrived late and never quite settled into the slower pace of the weekend. However, he shared a dream that revealed he was in the right place and his unconscious knew exactly what the problem was. In the dream, he was going around a racetrack when his car crashed into the wall, flew out of the speedway, and ended up in a residential neighborhood. Clearly, his psyche was telling him that he needed to get off the fast track and settle down.
The Disney-Pixar animated movie Cars, tells a similar story. Would-be racing champion, Lightning McQueen, learns valuable lessons in friendship, connection and true happiness only after an unexpected detour forces him to slow down and literally pave a new road. Likewise, in one of my mother’s favorite books, Blue Highways, college professor William Least Heat-Moon describes the memorable people and places he encounters when he intentionally bypasses the interstates and chooses, instead, to explore the smaller back roads which, at the time, were marked in blue on roadmaps.
How, then, does one venture down the “Inner Road”? First, it helps to have a guide who knows the territory. It’s hard to find your way around someplace you’ve never been before, especially without a map. As a psychotherapist, I have seen the benefits of spending time on the “Inner Road” with clients. Traveling the “Inner Road” leads to a greater awareness of oneself and one’s needs, healing from past traumas, a higher degree of emotional intelligence, insight into our thoughts and behaviors, congruence between our values and actions, alignment with our purpose, a deeper sense of peace and contentment and, ultimately, more fulfillment and a feeling of being truly alive.
How do we know if and when we are ready for the “Inner Road.” Sometimes we choose it. Sometimes it chooses us. In his famous poem, The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost chose the one “less traveled” and concluded that it “has made all the difference.” So, pay attention. If you are seeing physical, mental or emotional signs telling you that the road you are on is taking its toll, it may be time to take the right turn onto the “Inner Road.”
